


Break Even

by catskardllamas



Category: Smosh
Genre: Double the Fun, F/F, F/M, If You Squint - Freeform, Kinda, double mint gum, double the romance, ian x oc, is this another smoshcast, reader x courtney
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:54:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26594809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catskardllamas/pseuds/catskardllamas
Summary: Reader just wanted to spend some quality time with her older sister, maybe show her around the workplace. She was not ready for her heart to be ripped out of her chest, again. Her past was supposed to stay in her past, right?
Relationships: Courtney Miller/Reader, Ian Hecox/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 6





	Break Even

**Author's Note:**

> AN: This was initially supposed to be an Ian x Reader fic but WHOOPS. This fic took me the longest to write out of any one-shots I’ve ever written. If you like this (or any of my other fics) you can leave a request. They’re always open!  
> Pairings: (fem)Reader x Courtney, OC x Ian  
> Word count: 4513  
> Warnings: Some fucks were given.

* * *

Y/n crouched behind the half wall with her partner in crime. Their targets were visible as they talked at the magazine counter. Y/n was trying to listen in on the distant conversation as the woman next to her kept burping. **  
**

“Sorry, Y/n.” The other woman said.

Y/n just waved off the apology. Her mission was still in motion and she wasn’t about to give it up anytime soon. She could see her goal coming to fruition shortly...she could almost touch it. 

“It’s getting late, Y/n. I have to be up super early and so does Ian. Besides, didn’t you say that your sister had a flight in the morning?” 

Y/n sighed. “Yeah, you’re right Courtney. Let me text Emma and pull her away without Ian seeing either of us.”

The woman took out her phone from her denim jacket pocket and began typing out a message to strategically extract her sister from the situation they were in. In the middle of her typing, she felt a hand on her arm.

“Is...is that my jacket?” Courtney forced Y/n to face her fully. “The one I misplaced a year ago and you claimed you had no idea where it went?”

Y/n didn’t look at her as she kept her phone out in an effort to seem too distracted to care. “No. Why would I still have any of your things? What’s the point of holding on to a broken-”

“Hey. Any reason why you asked me to stop talking to that super cute guy over there?” Y/n’s sister asked as she walked up to the other two girls. “We were having a wonderful conversation.”

Y/n began to pull her sister away by the arm. “You have a flight to catch in the morning. Let’s get back to my apartment to make sure you’re all packed and ready to go, yeah?”

Courtney watched them go with a disappointed expression.

Y/n listened to her sister talk on the phone to the people at the airline while she sat at the table with her cereal and orange juice. Apparently, Emma had been moved to a different flight without asking to be and the people on the other end of the phone were not helping matters.

“But that’s just it, I didn’t call to reschedule my original flight. I wanted to double-check my departure time and when I looked it up, it said that my flight had been rescheduled per my request. But I didn’t reschedule it!! Why would I reschedule my flight?! I have to go back to work.” She paused. “No, I need to get put back on the flight I was originally scheduled for. It’s the one I paid for. I didn’t ask to be moved. That’s not on me. I have a job to go to!”

The younger sister stayed silent as she watched her sister try to fix the problem she found herself in. It wouldn’t be an awful thing if Emma stayed an extra day or two, Y/n felt. It could be nice having someone else in the apartment. It got too quiet sometimes.

Y/n looked up when she noticed her sister took a seat across from her own. “So, what’s the verdict?”

The older sister put her head in her hands. “Can I stay an extra day or two? They’re refunding me but I can’t get on a flight for another few days. I truly hope my boss will give me the benefit of the doubt. I don’t know how I ended up in this situation, but here I am. Stuck in L.A.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it. We can do more things now that you’re gonna be here for a few more days. I feel like I don’t get to see you enough as it is. I miss my big sister.” The girl gave a pout.

“Aw, I miss you too. It’s weird not having you back home. Like, I fully realize that you’re a grown-ass adult but you’re still my baby sister. Just...not as annoying as you used to be. What, with all of your meddlings and getting into my things.” Emma smirked and Y/n laughed.

“Speaking of meddling, why don’t you come to work with me today? Check out what I do and stuff?” Y/n got up to put her dishes in the sink and started her tea kettle.

“How soon are you headed out?”

Y/n looked at her stovetop clock before responding. “Eh. In less than an hour.”

Emma stood up and walked towards the guest room she had been using during her stay. “Guess I better get ready so I can go see what my little sister does for a living. And then judge it harshly.”

The two had been in Y/n’s office for a couple of hours when Emma asked why it seemed so quiet.

“The cast is on location to film a sketch. They probably won't be back until later, if they come back at all. I work on unscripted content, so I’m not typically on the location shoots.” Y/n was typing something on her laptop as she replied.

“Didn’t you say you had a meeting in a few minutes?”

“Oh, frick! Oh my God.” The PA quickly looked through her things and grabbed her needed materials. “It shouldn’t last for too long. I’ll order us lunch as soon as possible. There are some funny compilation videos that fans made that I’ve been watching already loaded up on my desktop if you want to see more of the people I work with.”

Y/n ran out of her office and across the building to the conference room. As she approached the room, she noted that the meeting hadn’t started yet and there were still a few people missing. She walked in and took a seat next to Matt Raub. Y/n discovered that the closer she sat to him, the less he called on her for things. He was on his laptop, probably going over the notes for the meeting. She took out her materials and got ready for what would hopefully be a short conference. 

“Hey, Y/n.” Ian greeted as he walked into the room. “The front desk said you have a visitor today?”

The woman looked up from her notes from the previous meeting. “Yeah. My sister was supposed to fly back home today but something happened to her flight details and she's staying with me for a few more days. I hope it’s okay that she’s here. I’m not working on any shoots today so I thought she could visit and see what I do.”

“Yeah, that’s completely fine. We’re getting lunch after this. You should bring her with. Let us know more about you. And hey, if she’s cute…” The president of Smosh let his sentence drift off as he opened his laptop.

“Who’s cute?” Matt Raub looked up from his laptop as he finally joined in the conversation while the rest of the unscripted team filled in the room.

“Nothing, no one.” Y/n quickly replied as she waited for someone to officially start the meeting.

When the meeting finally ended, Ian reminded everyone that lunch was being brought into the break room and it was up for grabs. Y/n exited the room and made her way back to her office intending to convince Emma to eat anywhere that wasn’t there. What she didn’t expect to see was Courtney sitting in one of her chairs, _chatting_ with Y/n’s older sister.

“It was really good to see you yesterday. I wish we would have had more time to hang out.” Emma finished once she noticed Y/n standing in the doorway.

The woman appeared to ignore the actress sitting in her personal space. “Hey, Emma, let’s go out and grab some lunch. I’m craving tacos.”

“I thought you guys were having lunch in the breakroom? I know Ian had ordered stuff.” Courtney mentioned but shrunk in her seat once she felt the heat coming from Y/n’s glare. 

“Yes, thank you, Courtney. I had completely forgotten that. That is also an option. It’s up to you, Emma. Go out or stay in?”

Unsure about what was going on in the room, Emma replied with “I know you’re busy today. I don’t mind staying in so you can get more stuff done. Besides, it’s free, right? What’s better than that?”

“Literally anything, but you’re right. I should be responsible.” Y/n rubbed her forehead, she could feel a headache brewing. “Let’s head to the break room. You can meet my co-workers and work your magic. Maybe you can network and find yourself a new job here instead of back home? Be with your favorite little sister more often…”

Emma laughed as she stood up and the two left the room, having completely ignored Courtney. “You’re the one that was so desperate to leave home, Little Sister. I’m perfectly content with where I am. Maybe you should network yourself back home?”

Y/n stopped them before they entered the break room and gave her sister a deadpan expression. “You got jokes, I’ll give you that. My bosses are in here but they know you’re here. They sound like they genuinely want to meet you. Don’t embarrass me. I beg of you.”

The two walked in and were greeted by the sight of the unscripted production team socializing with each other. There was a mixture of people around laptops, which were probably being used by those that were trying to work through lunch. Except for Ian’s laptop though, of course. He, Matt Raub, and Monica seemed to be laughing at something on the screen. It worked out in Y/n’s favor, though, because she didn’t want to go through what Courtney went through. While yes, Ian would never take a joke too far with anyone on purpose, she wasn’t about to give him the chance to even try. She grabbed her sister’s hand and pulled her to the table that held the food. She signaled for Emma to fill her plate and they picked an unoccupied section of the room to sit and eat at.

Y/n was quietly digging into her food when one of the writers came up and asked for her opinion on something. After making Emma promise that she wouldn’t do something...older-sister-like (wander off and tell embarrassing stories about Y/n’s youth), she joined the writer at his laptop and helped him out. A few moments later and Y/n caught Ian and Emma in a conversation that had them giggling. She wasn’t quite sure how to feel about the sight. It made her feel...weird? She wasn’t sure if she liked it or not.

“I don’t know who that is that Ian’s talking to, but it’s nice to see? Isn’t it?” The writer asked while also watching the two from across the room.

Y/n looked at him with an eyebrow cocked. “That’s my older sister. He’s going to make it weird.”

He nodded in understanding. “Like with Courtney’s sister. I get it. But you have to admit, Y/n, they both look decently happy.” 

“Yeah…” The woman muttered. “Frick.”

Y/n invited Emma back to the office the next day. The older sister almost declined, she needed a little bit more excitement in her day. Not that she minded a chill day every once in a while, but she didn’t want to do nothing again.

“No, today is going to be completely different. We have to film some things. Plus. you were requested to join a SMOSHcast recording if you want to. No pressure. It might be something fun to do? I don’t know why I said that as a question. It’ll for sure be fun. I've been on a few.” Y/n was pouring her tea into a SMOSH thermos to begin her day.

Emma sat at the kitchen table, half-eaten toast with peanut butter plated in front of her, thinking it over. “Hmm...on one condition.”

The producer cast a skeptical eye. “What?”

“You can’t get mad at me when I talk to Courtney.” Emma continued even though her sister had dramatically groaned. “She was a big part of your life. We’ve always been able to get along. I know that the two of you didn’t have the best ending in your relationship, and I’ll always support you. But Courtney and I have always been able to talk easily. It’s a little hard to turn a complete one-eighty. I haven’t seen either of you in person since before you guys broke up. It’s got to catch up with me. Please, just...give me a minute to get my feet on the ground. I’m not like you. You’re so much more fierce with how you handle the people around you. You love hard and if someone ruins that love, you nip them in the bud as soon as you can. I’m not like that.”

Y/n leaned against the kitchen counter as she crossed her arms and nodded, pondering what Emma was saying. “Yeah. I guess that’s why I like you so much. You’re more forgiving than I am to those that hurt those around me.”

Emma took a deep breath at her sister's words. “I’m sorry.”

“No!” Y/n quickly walked over to her sister and threw her arms around her shoulders. “Don’t be! I wasn’t saying that like ‘Oh, Emma never has my back.’ I meant it like, in a general sense. Like you know when to give someone more chances, but you don’t give too many. You know when to forgive and move on. You know how to separate past heartbreaks from the rest of your life, even if you work with them.”

“You can’t avoid her forever, Y/n. It’s like you said, you work with her. The two of you need to have a mature adult discussion and put it all behind you. I don’t think she realizes how much you’re still hurting over this.” 

Y/n released Emma and moved back over to the counter to grab her morning beverage. “You’re right. I know you’re right. But first, I gotta leave before I’m late. I should have been in the car already. If you’re going to come with me, be in the car in ten.”

The two women walked onto the SMOSHcast set, not late enough to where they were already still recording, but late enough to warrant the jokes by the others. Ian was at the head of the table, being the host as usual. Courtney was next to him, much to Y/n’s demise. Emma took the seat next to Courtney to ease her baby sister’s mind, with Y/n taking the end. After they were fitted with headphones and set up with mic stands, they explained to Emma how things were going to go. Then everything went from there.

“Welcome back to another SMOSHcast.” Ian started.

Courtney chimed in with “anotha one”, which caused some giggles. 

“Yes,” Ian continued. “That was the magnificent Co Mill.”

“Tis’ I. The actress of the table,” She greeted. 

“And we have a special guest today. Well, we have two special guests. But one’s more…”

“I swear to God, Ian. If you say something along the lines of “more important” then I will get my revenge during a Pit video.” Y/n jokingly glared at her boss.

“Well, let’s start with you then. Today, we have Y/f/n Y/l/n, a producer for unscripted content here at SMOSH. She’s great. Even when she’s threatening me. She’s still pretty chill.” Ian looked from Y/n to Emma. “And then our extra special guest is Y/n’s older sister, Emma. She’s not on youtube, or in the industry, but there’s a very specific reason why I asked her to be on here today.”

“Thank you for having me, Ian. I listen to the episodes that my sister appears on and they’ve all been great, so far. I’m very thankful for your invite. You guys seem to have a good time.” Emma took a swig from her very own SMOSH thermos that was waiting for her at her seat when she had sat down. 

“Thank you, Emma, for joining us today. How we usually do things is we’ll have some things written down to talk about, a soft outline to keep the show going, but most times we don’t stay on topic. It’s not hard, don’t worry. Just have a good time, okay?” The host 

“Ah, yes.” Said woman hummed into the microphone. “The high point of my day. I know it’s only just starting, but I know I’ll enjoy it.”

“Things are about to get interesting for so many people today.” Ian chuckled into his mic.

“Hey, uh, Y/n. Are you as suspicious as I am, right now?” Courtney was looking straight at her, trying to convey that she felt that something was definitely off.

The two oldest at the table giggled, followed by Ian clearing his throat. “So let’s just get down to it before Ryan and Kevin get on me about not having enough material for posting.”

The cast recording went on as usual. They stayed slightly on topic, jokes were dropped roasts were had, serious conversation made it’s round. Things seemed mostly normal for a SMOSHcast, according to Y/n’s standards. Often, Ian or Emma would make a statement to the other person that would cause her and Courtney to glance at each other. They wanted to make sure that the other one caught what had happened. 

At one point, Emma attempted a joke that only Ian laughed at. But it wasn’t just a pity laugh. It was almost as if there was an inside thought that only they were in on. Y/n kept shifting her eyes between the two of them. Something was up, she could smell it. At first, she thought the idea was to just make her feel uncomfortable, the way Ian did to Courtney about her older sister. The way the two of them were looking at each other, however, told a completely different story. There was something afoot, she just couldn’t figure out what it was yet.

After one final eye-lock with Courtney, Y/n decided she’d had enough. 

“Alright,” she sat up straight in her seat. “What the actual fuck is going on? There’s a mystery amongst us and I don’t like not knowing what it is. Especially if it involves either myself or my big sister.”

“Yeah, you guys are acting v weird. Like v v weird.” The blonde actress chimed in. 

The two seemed to have a silent conversation before Emma nodded and sat back in her seat, keeping her eyes on the host the entire time.

“So, Y/n, I convinced you to come on with your sister under the pretense that I wanted to harass you like I did with Courtney. Which, by the way, is one of my favorite jokes, mind you. But this time it isn’t a joke. I sincerely want you to know how I feel about Emma.”

Courtney giggled uncomfortably. “Why do I feel like we’re about to have the opposite of the divorce talk?” 

“Oh my God.” Y/n breathed. “Because we are. I don’t...what? You guys JUST met this week. How...What?!”

“Well, Baby Sister, that isn’t exactly true. Ian and I found each other on your social media. Tweet replies happened...and then DM’s...and then texts...and then facetime. This week is just the first time I got to finally see him in real life. And I gotta admit,” Emma winked at the host. “I like in-person a heck of a lot better.”

Ian blushed and looked at his laptop while Y/n remained lost beyond all words. She watched her sister and then watched Ian. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. When had this all started? How deep into their relationship were they?

Ian leaned into his mic, but Y/n had a feeling it was because it got him closer to Emma. “I decided to bring this onto the pod because I wanted to share with everyone where I’m at in life and how I’m feeling about it. And honestly? Emma? I love you. And I’m very thankful that I get to have you in my life. I hope I get to have you next to me for a very long time.”

Y/n swallowed and put her hands on her headset before pulling them off and standing up. “Excuse me.”

She quickly walked off of the set. She kept her head down as she made her way to her office, ignoring the people in the hallways. Once she got to the room, she closed the door and started taking breaths. She didn’t understand her reaction but she couldn’t take it back. She couldn’t believe she walked out of the podcast recording. What was she thinking?

Y/n expected a knock on the door at some point, but what she wasn’t expecting was the person behind it when she opened it. Courtney shyly let herself in and closed the door behind her.

“We wrapped it up. Finnerty thinks there should be enough material, even if they take out the last ten minutes of what was recorded.”

Y/n sat at her desk and laid her head in her hands. “They don’t have to cut it out. It’s my fault, not theirs. They wanted to talk about it, so it should be heard. It shouldn’t be up to me.”

Courtney sat across from the producer. “You know Ian would never put something out there that made any of us uncomfortable. Yeah, it’s his love life, but it’s your family. We’re all family. We look out for another.”

“That’s not why I’m upset, Courtney!” Y/n threw her hands into the air. “I’m happy for them! If they make each other happy, then more power to them! It’s not about Ian and Emma. I mean, yeah, it triggered something. Because now I have to worry even more about my personal life and my business life fucking together. Because it went so well last time!”

Y/n realized she was shouting and apologized quietly to the other girl that had closed her eyes and stayed silent through the tantrum. Neither of them said anything for what felt like hours, but it was only minutes. The producer drummed her fingers on her desk as the actress nibbled at her lip.

“For what it’s worth,” Courtney started. “I’m sorry. About everything. Between us, I mean. I had no idea any of that was going to happen during the recording. But with you and I...we could have had a healthy breakup. Neither of us took it well and it didn’t help that I hooked up with some random friend the next day. It was only a distraction.”

Y/n looked up and met her eyes. “No, Courtney. You don’t owe me an apology. Not for that. We weren’t together anymore. You were allowed to do anything, anyone, that you wanted. That’s the freedom of not being in a relationship, right?”

“I did it because I knew you could see me. I played it off like ‘fuck it, I don’t care’, but really I knew at any given second you could catch us getting close. And for that, I definitely should apologize.” 

Y/n gave a pathetic attempt at a smile to keep herself from crying. “I honestly loved you, Courtney. We were together before you were even out. I felt honored. And then right before you planned on coming out, we broke up. I thought that you were going to come out and that I would be right there with you.”

The tears seemed to be contagious, and Courtney started sniffling. “I wanted you to be there with me. I think I got scared. At first, I was so hyped, but when the day came...I thought it would be better for my image, or what the fuck ever lame excuse I had, if I came out and was single. But I think I was just scared of our relationship. I was absolutely falling in love with you, too, and it scared me. I hadn’t felt that way before and I just kept picturing it crashing. I had no clue how to save it if it did. I decided to hit the self-destruct button. It had to be easier if I was the one that ran it into the ground, right?”

“I was really mad at Emma yesterday when I came in here and watched how easily you two talked to each other. It’s been almost a year and I still don’t know how to ask you how your day has been. And when I saw you two laughing as if our breakup didn’t break _me_...I think I was jealous. Not because I want our relationship back, but because I wanted what we were before our relationship happened.” Y/n began wiping her nose with one of the tissues she kept by her monitor. 

“I miss it, too.” Courtney gave a half-smile. “Maybe one day we could make it back there?”

“I’d like that, Court.”

“It wasn’t you guys.” Y/n found herself in Ian’s office with Emma sitting on his couch, coffee in the older sister’s hand. “I, in no way, am upset at you guys finding someone that you love. If I can speak frankly, I panicked because I saw my personal life and my professional life crumbling down around me and it terrified me. I can’t help the fact that you two found each other. And you two are not responsible for how I reacted. I’m still dealing with the last time those two parts of me crashed and burned. I want you guys to know how much you mean to me as individuals and I can’t wait to see how you two are together.”

Ian was sitting at his desk. He thought through Y/n’s words before carefully choosing his own. “I would never want to do something, as your boss, to make you feel uncomfortable outside of this building. If this isn’t for you, Emma and I being together, then let me know. Yeah, it might suck, but you were my producer before I met Emma. My first priority was and is my work. And you’re a part of that. So if it does start to be too much for you, then please let me know. Don’t ever feel like you’d have to choose between Emma or here.”

Y/n made her way to his side of the desk and hugged him around his shoulders. “I know this isn’t your thing but deal with it for a few seconds. Today has been a lot. We both need this.”

When Y/n released her hold she kept her hands on his shoulders. “But, real talk? If you hurt my big sister I’ll hide your body so fast, no one will know.”


End file.
